"Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in." -Robert Frost
...and then you have to do all the housework. I've been home for about a week, and so far I've cleaned the dining room (which was stacked with Christmas presents and sewing tools a mile high), cleaned out the pantry (which my mom saves specifically for my sister every time she comes home), cleaned out the upstairs bathroom (much easier after my sister took her 85 lbs of beauty products pack to Dallas), and cleaned out my room (where the busily procreating dust bunnies were nearly the end of me). Living in a refrigerator box suddenly sounds so much more attractive.
It's been a good time to catch up with friends from home. One of my friends, especially, has had some interesting experiences while I've been away. Let me tell you her story, and then you can guess where she's gone:
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It's late night in November, and she's driving slowly, searching the dark ahead for any signs of human life. The dirt road she's on winds through forests and fields, but she can't make out any lights ahead. For a moment she's worried that she made a wrong turn, and she thinks about turning back, going home. But she's driven hours and hours to get here, and she doesn't think she can face the long road back home.
All of a sudden, she turns a corner and brakes in front of a group of darkened buildings. They're squat and oddly-shaped. There is no movement, no sign of light, no indication that anyone has ever lived there. The driveway has ended, so she assumes she's in the right place- but the area appears completely deserted.
Hesitantly, she turns off her car and climbs out, still looking around. Forest on one side, open fields on the other, and nothing but the sounds of cicadas and crickets in the air. Grabbing her duffel bag from the back seat, she slowly walks toward the nearest building.
"Hello?" she whispers, afraid that if she speaks too loudly, the sound will shatter the air around her.She searches the shadows around the buildings, but they remain still. She shifts her bag to her other shoulder and wonders what the heck she should do now.
"Heeeey!"
She whirls around, heart racing, and sees a dark form moving through the forest. She backs away toward her car. This was a bad idea. She shouldn't have come here. She's in the wrong place. She's walked into a horror film, and now some over-peppy serial killer is going to mutilate her and dump her body in the woods. Why hadn't she stayed home? Why did she ever quit missionary nun training? She closes her eyes briefly and sends up a brief prayer that she can make it out of this alive.
She opens her eyes... and stares. In front of her... it can't be. It can't, but... in front of her is... is... Jesus.
Wow, she thinks in hazy amazement. That was quick.
Jesus smiles benevolently. His hair is long and loose around his shoulders, his beard is shaggy and full, and his robes gleam in the faint light of the moon. The shine of white against dark makes him seem like a spirit drifting through the shadows.
He raises one of his hands toward her and she moves forward, entranced. He is holding something out to her, and her exhaustion-fogged brain gibbers in excitement. Receiving a gift from Jesus' hand! Can she get canonized for this? Beatified, at the very least, she assures herself woozily.
Her hand rises of its own accord to accept the tiny roll of parchment from his hand. She gazes down at it blearily, wondering what reservoirs of wisdom are contained within. The Gospel of Me! her brain giggles.
Then Jesus lifts his hands again- cups them around his mouth. Is he going to speak? she wonders excitedly. But no- a tiny flame flickers to life around his hands (magic!), illuminating features that are craggy with knowledge beyond mortal ken, and then... his mouth opens... he's going to speak...!
Jesus exhales a cloud of fragrant smoke. "Wanna light, sister?" he grins sloppily.
She looks down at the roll of parchment. Oh, crap, she thinks. Jesus is a stoner.
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And that was her introduction to a place we will call Birch Valley Commune. (I don't know about liability issues with blogs, so I'll just keep names out of it.) She had some fantastic stories from the place- conversations with students of free love, member/visitor tensions, re-naming ceremonies, orgy codes of conduct... I may be posting more about this in the future, if nothing else exciting happens. It seems a teensy bit more interesting than my ongoing war against the house gutters.
And that's all for today. Thanks for tuning in, folks.
WE are waiting for your arrival. Safe travels!!
Posted by: brian | 09/08/2009 at 08:56 AM